To Heckle or Not to Heckle

I will go ahead and apologize for the amount of curse words in this one, but they are necessary. I was just reading an article about Steve Williams calling Phil Mickelson a prick. That didn't bother me so much as the comments from the readers below the article. Some douche bag agreed that he was a prick and that he should wear a bra and that he couldn't stand Phil. Excuse me sir, why exactly can you not stand Phil Mickelson? Do you two have a regular golf game or belong to the same country club or go to the same hairdresser? What makes you think that Phil Mickelson is a prick? From what have seen he is a stand up guy. He gave up his watch after breaking a spectator's with an unruly shot, he loves his wife, he does funny commercials, he gives to charity, and he was on Entourage for pete sake. What's not to love?????
This isn't just about Phil Mickelson. Why does us commoners always hate certain celebrities? I'm totally fine with being offended when they talk about their exs as sloppy seconds or shoot themselves in the foot, but we don't know them. We don't know anything about them. Regardless, some people vehemently hate these celebs just because they can. Give me a break, what did they do to you? Did they run over your dog, or call your wife fat? I doubt it.
Yes, I think Angelina Jolie is a homewrecker, but i'm not going to spend my time chanting "homewrecker" at the premier of "Changeling".
Come on people, I know you have a friend who's an asshole. Go heckle him. That actually might do some good for the world. But standing on the side lines shouting out "nice tits" to Mickelson, or "faggot" to Clay Aiken, only make you look like the asshole. And if your friends think you are funny when you sing "Like a Virgin" to A-Rod or when you shout "get in the hole" while Tiger teeing off, you need to put down that 7th budweiser and find new friends.

Another odd habit

I am not sure if this has been happening all of my life or just in the last couple of years. I want to say I have become more of a "creature of habit" but instead it sounds more narriotic. I'll let you decide.
I have noticed that at work I ALWAYS go to the same bathroom stall when nature calls. It's not like I won't use a different stall if "mine" is occupied, but it doesn't feel like home when I am not in my place. Does anyone else do this or have this feeling?
Since I noticed my little obsession, I decided to make a conscious effort to see if I do this elsewhere and low and behold I absolutely do! I was recently in Ft. Lauderdale (OK Weston) for a 3 day conference. During that conference I was stationed at our booth putting us closest to the same bathroom each day. On the first day I walked in to the bathroom and choose the 2nd stall on the right as my place of relief. Later after lunch nature called again and I found myself subconciously going into the same place. I did it every time for the next three days! I found my new home away from home.
I would guess some would call that obsessive conpulsive or 10 other psychologically terms, but in order to keep my sanity intacted, i've decided to call it predictable. I'm OK with predictable. I know I am going to find a working lock and purse hook in that exact stall and for the most part I have a good memory of it being clean and full of toilet paper. So, it's always a good place to start, right???
Well, I'm off to visit my throne.

Mitch and the Bush

Mitch - just wanted to take a minute to comment on Saturday night. Even though it sounds like you were regretting it on Sunday, I thought you were a riot and loved every second of it. I haven't seen "fun Mitch" in a very long time now that you are a parent, an adult, business man, and an all around better than everyone else kind of guy. It was nice to see you let lose.

You know it's a good night when your wife is laughing so hard she shoots wine out of her nose. Thank you for the entertainment. It was worth the bush sacrifice.

Type A Overload

I am seriously Type A. I believe Mitch is too, but I am sure he doesn't think so because he pretends to be laid back and mellow. Wrong. I think I called him high strung once and he was a little baffled, then shrugged and laughed because he knew in the end it was very true. Enough about Mitch and on to my point...

Yesterday at work we had to stuff all of these reusable water bottles with a post card that has our company info on it. I like to figure out the most productive way to do things, so I tried a couple different methods until I settled on one. About 2 boxes in (out of 10) one of the other girls in the office volunteered to help. Actually she just picked up some of the flyers and started chatting and placing them in bottles. She totally wasn't using my system and it was absolutely killing me, but I had to take a deep breath and remind myself that she was helping. WOOO SAHHH.

Well if she was going to help, I at least was going to do it better and faster than she was. I was stuffing with the precision and speed of an Olympian. Pick up with left hand, pass to right hand and bend in a cylinder in one motion (while sending left hand back over to pick another one up), pop in the bottle; I was knocking them out. Samantha on the other hand was more interested in chatting than stuffing. She was Casey’s onion cutting to my Hung’s chicken deboning.

The first box I managed to finish 30 to her 20. I was on fire. The next box she caught on to my competitive spirit and picked up the pace. I still managed to knock out 27 to her 24. She finally looked up and said, "Is it still a competition if the other person doesn't care who wins?" and laughed.
Oh baby, this is the real world, it's always a competition.
Final Count - Stephenie 111 / Samantha 89.

I wonder, can I ever turn it off or is it always going to be there burning and churning inside me? Quite frankly, is it a bad thing to channel your inner Monica Geller? It does make it tough to be “luggage” as my husband calls it when he is just going with the flow. But I am not sure I would like being luggage. I know there is a place for both and a balance would be wonderful, but is a balance achievable?

The Hits vs The Jams

I had the great pleasure of visiting the new Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre on Sunday for The Black Crowes and Phil Lesh and Friends concert. I was so excited to be back at the "circus" which I hadn't really seen since 1992 when The Grateful Dead rolled through Chapel Hill and my parents had no clue who they were so they let me go. What an experience; though part of me felt sorry for the dirty hippies and more sorry for their children and their dogs. We saw all sorts of amazing spectacles while we were pre-gaming in the parking lot. A hippy with wings, bowls made out of slate, a VW bus park next to a brand new Infiniti and of course my favorite, the grilled cheeses, burritos, and veggie burgers. Greg was more interested in finding balloons, but that is a discussion for a different day.

Phil played with his friends. One included the talented Jackie Greene who I had never heard of before and I now feel like a better person (musically) because I do. Watching him was worth the price of admission.

I have not seen The Black Crowes perform before this show and I didn’t know what to expect. I was thoroughly impressed! It was southern rock meets jam band. It was soul meets country. Watching Chris Robinson do his little chicken strut and step back out of the spot light to just take in the music made it even more of spectacular. I think I even saw a smile between the two brothers! How could you not be moved when the band clearly was?

The show was over and I was smiling ear to ear (and not because of magic brownies, as I was the DD). Much to my surprise I heard the unthinkable as I passed through the gates and spilled into the parking. Someone in the crowd was mumbling that they were disappointed in the show. Excuse me? According to this person, the show was too "jammy" and they didn't get to hear all of the songs they wanted to hear. I am sorry if you are at a concert and you are expecting to hear the greatest hits, then you might as well sit in the parking lot and pop in their CD or become a fan of Mariah Carey.

Isn't the reason you go to a live show to see what the band can do in front of an audience, to hear the creative license they bring to their own music and if you are lucky to a few songs they borrowed from their colleagues? Isn't it to watch how they perform together, and to experience how they explore their talents? In my opinion I would say if there wasn’t some “jam” as this patron mentioned, then it wasn’t a heartfelt performance. It was more like another day at the office.

I remember going to a Steely Dan show a couple of years ago. I spent over $100 a ticket to see icons of rock perform and have a chance to show me why they are who they are today. Instead, i swear i hit "play" on the tape player and was sitting on the lawn with my jam box. I was stunned and completely disappointed. If i am paying good money to watch you play live, you better show me more than what i can purchase at the local best buy.

So thank you Phil Lesh and Friends and The Black Crowes. I thoroughly enjoy your performance.

Vegas In a Day...

...well actually, 36 hours.   I flew out to Vegas Thursday evening and landed just in time to walk in to a perfect dinner with great friends... wine, steak, laughs, Belvedere, chips, BlackJack, Hold 'em, a failed attempt at understanding Bacarrat, RedBull, and hitting the pillow at 6a sounds fun.  It actually was fun.  I woke at 1030 and could feel my legs, but I really couldn't make them move.  I could brush my teeth, but could only taste sand.  For this moment, I could actually say I was seeing the world through rose colored lens - my eyes looked as if they were actually bleeding. What could I tell, I could hardly see out of them.  However with no headache, all was relatively right in the world.  We went to eat, although 2 fries was all I could muster.  19 8 oz. bottles of free water later and the amazing pool at the Wynn, I was talking again - reborn... Literally, I went from not speaking - to grunting - to making half phrases - to talking - then eating and talking and voila - I was reborn.  It only took me 3 hours what took Miles 20 months.  With food in my belly and the sun out, I was back and couldn't resist the BlackJack tables that were out by the pool under the cabana.  There we were at our own table, laughing, winning, having fun... 1 beer - 2 beers (Corona, mind you) - 3 beers... Here we go again - rinse and repeat.  Problem was we're now a little older and little wiser...  Spa. :) Hot tub, eucalyptus steam, deluge, shower and a shave - could this be?  A slow down? A mature approach?  Boringly enough --- yes.  I left the spa, sat at the poker table for while.  We met for dinner.  We played cards - no one was really overly motivated - we went to a club - I was in bed, no lie, at 1145p.  That is a first and with a 430a wake up call, it was smart.

So where am I going with this?  Nowhere really.  I had a great night and great day with great friends in  a cool place. I went to bed earlier on vacation than I would have home.  I had 3 beers all day (and night) IN VEGAS... and I must say, it was one of the better times, I've had there.  I will definitely do it again - next time, I'll stay an extra 12 hours...

It's amazing how time flies when you don't wear a watch.

Hollywood Drivers

Is it really so important to show up at a club or at a party in your very own Mercedes, Range Rover, Astin Martin, or what have you???? If I was rich and famous (more importantly rich) my car would be a chauffeured limo, hell, a chauffeured tricycle, i don't care what it is, the key word is chauffeur!
It just makes no sense to me that all of the stars are getting DUIs. You have the money to afford to not drink and drive, so why do you continue to do it? I remember back in my early 20s the only reason I would drive is that I couldn't AFFORD a cab ride (probably because I spent my last $2.50 on a kamikaze shot) so we would play rock paper scissors and risk it. I'm not saying it was smart, (nor was the 12th kamikaze shot) but it's the truth. I am quite positive that Heather Locklear, Paris Hilton, and Mischa Barton at least had enough money for a cab, or hell enough money to rent a hotel room next door to the club for the evening or even enough money to charter a helicopter to take them home!

Hollywood, stop being stupid. You have the dough, now spend it wisely. You know what, I am moving to Los Angeles and I am opening a high end car service where the star drives there own car to the party so they can be seen in it, then we take their keys from them and meet them back at the club at closing time and drive their drunk asses home. That way they got the grand entrance and no DUI on exit. GIVE ME THE KEYS (you mfcs) I'LL DRIVE!

Ear piece

Do you really need to keep your bluetooth ear piece on when you are not on the phone? It does not make you look important; it's just flat out annoying and quite frankly anti-social. Give me a break and put it in your pocket when it's not in use.

For the record, this is not directed at Mitch; it's directed at every idiot out there that insists on clipping those stupid things to their ear. If you need something dangling from your ear so badly get your ears pierced and buy a "George Michaels" hoop.

COME ON.

Cliff Notes and Recap

I must start with an apology. My desire for my dear friend Steph was for her to simply start a blog, not for me to get entangled in a back and forth digital dialogue. My bandwidth is a bit thin these days considering I'm now eating dinner with a naked 2.5 year boy at dinner. It's what a busy travel schedule and potty training will get you. Now, reading said blog, as I've been reprimanded, is another point all together. And one that I haven't been doing. So here you go world and Steph, I'm sorry. I find your posts interesting, well written, and doggone fun to read... for the most part.

Now for my thoughts on the aforementioned "interesting posts".

Bassists:
If you listen to a really good band, the bassist will be the last one you notice. If you listen to a bad band with a good drummer, the bassist will still be the last one you notice. He (or she) is just always there trying to hold the pocket... but let me break it down a little for you. You can't really play or listen to a bassist playing at a coffeehouse, it's just not how the instrument was set up. However, the bassists you love (Vic, Getty Lee, Les Claypool, Stanley Clarke, Jaco Pastorius, Flea [to a degree], most jazz bassist) catch your ear because they play the melodies on top of, or with the rhythm. That's what they get paid for, the rhythm - thus the rhythm section. Drummers you like do that as well. Just listening to a drummer playing beats is cool - Lord knows I can listen to that for weeks - but what makes them catch you ear is their ability to play the melodies, such as Carter, Neil Peart, Futureman, I could go on... The bassist is cool, the drummer is cool.. is one the best?? Dunno if I could say fully yes either way... Usually you like one over the other because of what they bring out of the rhythm section the other isn't, thus the perfect complementarians.

Names:
I can't say that I would fall in love with a Shaquanda at first, however had I ran into a beautiful, blond haired, tan, big smilin' blue eye havin' babe in Park City out in a bar prior to asking her name -- I may not be able to say the same. It's actually quite a selfish statement... What I hear you say is more, how does me being friends (or in love) with a Dale reflect on me... That is vain. However, it's equally as vain to have a vanity plate (thus the name)... I love DALES. He must be cool in Putnum county. A wealthy friend of mine growing up's mother always had the newest, hottest car - her plate read: CHARGEIT. I had a 1982 Buick Regal (Limited, I may add) when I turned 16 - my mom got me a tag that read THEBUGAL. I loved it! My friends quickly turned that into the BAGEL. I still loved it. Is it vain? Who cares.

Lawn Seats:
I'm of the belief that it's up to you to make the best of the situation. People watching, pot smoking, dancing, mingling, star gazing is all a part of the experience, and you can take from it what you want. As you mentioned you know what you're getting when you buy a lawn seat. Katie and I were invited to John Mayer two weeks later (on the lawn) and passed. Ok, so that said [please take your seat] I agree with Steph here -- It was Jack's fault. I've listened to Jack Johnson since he came out and really enjoy his records - however I enjoy him usually on a plane while I'm banging away on my keyboard, I enjoy him on the deck at Greg and Steph's, I really enjoyed him this summer on the deck while in Wilmington, and it's a great background for making iMovies. While we were at Lakewood, standing around, talking, laughing, drinking, it was perfect, yet still situational - Jack didn't draw me in. Now I would not have rather been in the parking lot - maybe a back porch or beach would have been better. I saw DMB from 9 miles away and loved every second - he brought me in. I saw Lenny Kravitz from the lawn, same thing -- he demanded my attention. Song one of Jack Johnson's sounded exactly like the encore, even though I sang every word in between. I will say, I wasn't unhappy, nor did I want a refund - being there in the environment, with Katie, who was on cloud nine, made my experience completely worth it... but, it's on the artist.

Opinionated:
All I have for you here is -- opinions are like assholes, we all have one. And thank God for that!

...and yes - SEC is the best conference in the land!

Peace - mitch

Opinionated

I was thinking about the word "opinionated" recently since on occasion I have been described by this word. Calling someone opinionated is like calling someone fat; it just seems like such an insult, but is it really? Maybe it's just my jaded view on the word. Yes, i do have opinions; I believe everyone should. If you don't have an opinion how do you know what you believe in? Is it that people who are called opinionated are actually just outspoken? The Dalai Lama and Mother Theresa have very strong opinions, but I haven't heard anyone refer to either of them as opinionated, they are just deemed passionate.

What makes someone opinionated versus having a strong point of view? Is it being outspoken? If I had a charity, or if I was running for city council, or if this blog was a .org would I be considered passionate instead of opinionated?

Why does the word have a negative connotation? It's kind of like the word "large". No one wants to hear it, unless it is associated with a sum of money or diamond or Kim Kardashian's ass.

Regardless, I think I have a point of view on things and if that makes me opinionated so be it. It's not like I have an opinion on everything. I could care less what color shirt Mitch wears to work, or if the SEC is the best football conference in the land...

I would rather have an opinion than to be a chameleon.

Concert on the Lawn

I am a big live music fan and attend a lot of shows. Recently I attending the Jack Johnson show with a few of my friends and we had lawn seats. I bet you the concert was really stinkin' good, but much to my surprise I don't think I actually saw any of it. I was so wrapped up in the "lawn" experience I totally forgot about the stage? I left the concert a little disappointed and felt that I didn't get my money's worth. Was this my fault or the lawn's fault? Of course, most will say it's my fault, i could have hunkered down on my blanket and soaked up the lyrics and jammed to the tunes; but I am blaming the lawn. It's a totally different experience and I believe is more about the people watching, the drinking and chatting than it is about the band on stage. Should we have justed stayed in the parking lot? It would have been more cost effective.
Maybe I should blame Jack. I mean, why couldn't he hold my attention? When we attending Dave Matthews Band last year, I was standing on my tippy toes trying to get a better glimpse from my small patch of grass.

Long story short, I'm out $45 and I can't tell you exactly what Jackiepoo sang to us. Damn it.

Mitch, you were there. What do you think?

What's in a name?

I was in the car on Thursday and the person in front of me had a vanity license plate that said, DALES (and of course it was a Camaro). I thought to myself, would I have married my husband if his name was Dale (or drove a Camaro - but that's a different blog)? Actually, I need to go back further; would I have given him the time of day and dated him if his name was Dale??? I know it sounds shallow and petty, but there are just some names that conjure up certain images and no matter how different that person is from the image in your head, you can't shake it. Dale, Randy, Dwight, Dwayne, Cletus, they all fall in that category. I think this goes for girl's names too. I can't image that Mitch would have ever dated a Crystal, Chastity, or Destiny.

Have you ever noticed that 90% of the time a boy has a girl's name they end up being one of the coolest people you know and good looking to boot? It takes parent's some balls to name their boy Courtney, Shannon, or Whitney. I think God kicks it up a notch for these guys in the aesthetics department just to help them out on the school yard. Also, I think they guys themselves go about life knowing they have to be a little cooler, funnier, and hotter to pull off the name.

Normal names can cause problems too. If you were beat up on the playground by an Angela, there is no chance to that you will instantly like an Angela in the future. Good news for me, my arch rival in elementary school's name was Jaibate. I didn't meet another one after that...

Bassist vs. the Band

Last night for some reason I remembered a conversation that Mitch and I agreed on; The Bassist is the coolest guy in the band. There is just something about the bass player and how he stands there, head bobbing to the beat, confident, and for some reason just plain sexy.

I know when most people go to a concert they are staring at the lead singer; not me, i'm a bassist girl Well at least I am now - in the 80's not so much. Sebastian Bach ruled my world. How many posters could one girl have of him in her bedroom... Him, Kip Winger, Axel Rose... oh the 80's.

I don't know much about being in a band outside of my Rock Band sessions over that M & K's house; but i can't imagine that it's easy playing a completely different section of music than the rest of the guys. Not to mention, you are out there in front jamming for the entire world to see and for the most part you are being ignored. The lead singer and the guitarist are back to back belting out the chorus and swapping sweat, and there you stand, by yourself doing your part.

After the 80's and realizing what good music consists of I switched my focus to the dummer. How do you even keep track of what you are doing? You are using every freaking limb to make music; incredible! Mitch's wife agrees here... she seems to have a thing for Drummers (and for Brian's but that's a whole different blog) But, you are behind a kit and out of public eye. You could be wearing a Moo Moo or assless leather chaps for all we know... But while the drummer is back there pounding away and working up a sweat; my sweet bassist is just grooving along to his own version of the song not bothering anyone. He's like the hot kid in Junior High School that isn't popular. All of the cool girls want to ask him out but because he's not part of "their" crowd they won't even consider it. They will always keep him in the corner of their eye while swooning and flirting with the captain of the football team.

I made my decision about the bassist at the Bela Fleck / Umphrey's McGee show last year. Umphrey's McGee opened the show and there he stood, the bassist. He was stage right and we were stage left; but my eye was immediately drawn to him. He was wearing this really cool hat, probably 6 feet tall, but he wasn't trying to attrack attention, he was just there. That was the best part; he was just there. Why was this concert the one that took me over to the bassist side?It was Mitch's wife. She looked at me (and as i mentioned before, she's a drummer girl) and said "damn, that bassist is the man." Coming from the wife of a drummer, i was stunned! We both sat their in awe watching him. After Umphrey's McGee was Bela Fleck and the Flecktones and with Bela comes Victor Wooten. Do I need to say more? When you discover the mystery and awe of one bassist and then it's followed up by the performance of Victor Wooten... You're sold. From then on, the bassist became my focus.

So, Good Bye Tommy Lee, Neil Pert, Steven Adler and Stewart Copeland.

Hello Ryan Stasik, P-nut, and Stefan Lessard. Wait, isn't Sting the bassist for The Police... maybe I've been a bassist girl a lot longer than I thought!

Introduction

Dear Mitchell - I have created this blog today to save both of our marriages. It seems that the two of us can not agree on anything. While I find our banter to be witty and amusing our spouses do not. I have created this outlet to eleavate the constant eyerolling and sighing from our significant others.

Personally, I don't understand why you constantly argue with me. I am always right; I mean look at my diploma, I earned it. Furthermore, I am a woman; that fact alone should make you back down. Lastly, as you pointed out very clearly at Jack Johnson, I am opinionated. Opinionated people don't sway from their side of the issue.

Quite frankly Mitch, you forget that you are opinionated too. You can't stand when your opinion isn't the only opinion in the room. Without me you would be bored and living in a world where the sky is purple.

On second thought, shouldn't we let bygones be bygones and agree to disagree and all that jazz???? Nah, what is the fun in that. I find you to be a very amusing oponent; so Mitch, I invite you to put up your dukes (or dooks) and let the games begin...